Here's Chilli Cook Off Commercial #2.

I loved the concept for this commercial, unfortunately our filming time was very limited that day. The "lifting up" shot, which got the most laughs, was not originally in the script, but our youth pastors idea. Just goes to show you: actors can have good ideas too!

Funny jokes or maybe crazy wreck - Now mind you, I did not get this story from a reputable source, but it seemed reasonable and very funny to me.

A Bulgarian car crash victim was saved by her humongous knockers during a car crash. Thats what the story claims at least.

Elena Marinova, 24, from Sofia, was involved in a full frontal crash with another car in the northern city of Ruse. A police expert explained that the 40DD silicone implants absorbed the impact of the crash.

“They worked just like airbags - protecting the victim’s ribs and vital organs from damage”

Go figure, I always thought they were a bad idea, gotta say I may have been wrong.

If you ever see a woman that looks like me, run. Run like a very ugly woman is behind you.

Indeed...I have been absent from the blog a long while.

To make it up to you, I have a special treat.

Way back in February, my church had our 2nd annual "Chili Cook off," a huge event that raises money for youth to go to summer camp and mission trips.

My friend Forrest and I volunteered to do the advertising, and fabricated five commercials.

My next five posts will be these commercials. Here's the first one.

The Happy Pill for sure - I don’t think 1000 mg will do. Can I get that in Extra Strength?

Having spent plenty of years in college myself, I gotta say… I LOVED the scantron tests! Yep, the odds were always in my favor. You see, any one with 1/2 a brain still intact can rule out at least 2 of 5 as wrong answers, that leaves a 1/3 shot at the correct answer having never even seen the material before. Using some cool pattern making skills, you can pencil in the Himalayan Mountainside and since it’s most likely graded on a curve, with the rest of the class using thier own pattern making skills(that aren’t as good as your own), you can easily #2 pencil your way into at least a C or maybe even a cool B. This below, must be a first. I still can’t stop laughing over it. Michael Benson, you are a Classic..

Seems after that test, the professor emailed the student… with this.

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Professor William Turner

This exam came from funnyexamanswers.com, however, I did not make it a link because the sites chained popups kept crashing not just my browser, but my machine. so the site has some funny shit, but make sure all your own shit is saved and your security settings are high if you wanna check it out

The 1950’s were a sick, nutty time for sure, now, I wasn’t around back then, but I have seen all the TV shows and alien invasion movies.  At this point most people believe this was a hoax for various reasons.  The best reasoning is in the medical evidence, there really wasn’t any and the aliens look pretty fake to begin with. I mean, even a very un-medical person like me can look at this and see the alien has muscle tone to die for… hard to pull off for most corpses. But, I gotta admit, the facial expression is a classic.

literally, this is a video starring Beanie, the piano playing chicken doing an audition for David Letterman. talk about some silly shit.

Just a poor choice of language here im afraid. I think they mean you should wear a seatbelt in your car. At least i really hope thats what they mean.

I love conflicting signs - poor cyclists, nowhere to go.